Every Day

Sometimes it is hard to even
Get out of bed.
I have to force myself
To begin again.

Every day is the same:
Grey, dark and gloomy.
The sun doesn't shine -
My sky is frosted in thick white clouds.

People pressure me to carry on
Even when I want to give up.
I have to keep walking:
One foot in front of the other,

But I am going
nowhere.
Every time I sigh I lose
a little bit of myself.

I want to let go of everything -
All my problems,
All my troubles.
And just breathe,
Fill my lungs with fresh air.

But all that surrounds me
is the musty sent of la vie quotidienne.
It's as if I am running around
And around in endless circles.

I feel trapped
with no escape.
I want, so badly, to let go
And to end my numbness.

I want to feel pain
Soaring through my body.
I want to scream
Just so I know I'm alive.

But I stay silent.