Saturday 30 April 2016

Farewell to Winter

The rattle of cowbells
is getting louder.
Shouts, whistles and whoops
can be heard from far away.

The herd of sheep fur,
carriages and heaps of hay;
The crowd parts
as they turn the corner:

Wooden masks
with devil's horns,
Long moustaches
and daring grimaces.

Amongst the flock
there are young girls,
Hiding behind
black laced masks.

The crowd begins to follow
the strange white devils
As they carry Winter
in her coffin.

The herd finally stops
as they reach the main square,
In the middle of which
stands a mountain of fire wood.

The crowd falls silent
as the coffin is carried up,
Up to the top
of the firewood mountain.

With a glowing touch
the coffin is set ablaze.
The now dark sky
is lit up by the roaring fire.

The wild flames
burn through Winter,
Allowing the crowd
to welcome Spring.




Two Lives

He was born in '95,
The only son of a proud father.
She was the oldest daughter
Of a widowed man.
Elite schools,
A bright future,
His life could not compare
to the way
She had to live her own:
Alongside of school,
She had to work for several ours
just to pay the bills
So that they could have hot showers.

They grew up
On the opposite sides of town.
They never met until
Both of their lives got turned
Upside down.
He had everything he ever wanted,
Anything he could have wished for.
His luck never seemed to run out.
Her life was never easy,
Having to grow up without
a mother.
She often felt her father
pull away too,
sink into his work,
distance himself from reality.

How many times
could they have passed by
each other on the street,
Looking, but not seeing?
How often could their paths
have come close,
So close,
But they would not meet?

Growing up without struggles,
He searched for a rush,
A thrill
that would make
His monotonous life interesting,
Refreshing,
Different.
But after so many times
he tempted death,
His luck expired
and a situation got out of control.
One accident
and he could never walk again.

After a long battle,
Her father finally gave up.
She was left with no help,
But a large burden
on her shoulders,
While her parents were reunited.
Two little sibling
now relied solely on her:
She left school
to work full time.
She never once let
anyone see her pain.

How many times
could they have passed by
each other on the street,
Looking, but not seeing?
How often could their paths
have come close,
So close,
But they would not meet?

All the people who surrounded him
before he was confined,
Restricted to a wheelchair,
Slowly began to disappear
One by one.
He began to realise
that his previous life
Was no way to live:
He started to reevaluate
Every decision,
Every choice,
Every relationship.

She was finding it hard
to give her siblings
The chances they deserve,
She found it difficult
to handle it on her own.
And that's when she met him,
When she was most in need
of a friend,
Someone with whom
She could share the heavy weight of
Life.

Who would have ever guessed
that they were each other's missing
Puzzle pieces?
They grew up
On the opposite sides of town.
They never met until
Both of their lives got turned
Upside down.
But they made each other whole:
She saw the real person inside him
like no one had ever before,
Not blinded by his wealth,
His status.
He made life so simple,
Easy for her to cope,
He treated her little siblings
like they were his own.

How many times
did they pass by
each other on the street,
until finally they met?
How often did their paths
come so close,
But never join
until the day they let
Their destiny guide them?





When We Were Young

When we were young,
I was Dorothy
and you were the Scarecrow,
Following our yellow-bricked path
to Oz.



When we were young,
You were Tommy
and I was Annika;
Looking for trouble,
Searching for fun
with Pippi by our side.



When we were young,
I was your Wendy
and you were my Peter Pan.
We used to spend our days
living in our own little
Neverland.



When we were young,
You were Teddy
and I was the smiley Michelle.
Nothing could ever
keep us apart.


Nothing,
Except growing up...

Thursday 28 April 2016

Little Miss Not-So-Perfect

Her presence
makes my blood boil.
The sound of her fake laugh
makes the hairs on the back of my neck
stand up.
Her faux smile,
More like a grimace,
disgusts me.

Her eyes are mocking me:
"I can do whatever I want,
I can get away with anything!"
Why are people so blind?
Why can't they see?

Her manipulative trickery,
Her mind-games,
Why can't they see her
for who she really is?

Her fake persona,
Like a mask she wears
to fool unsuspecting strangers.
Nothing about her is authentic!
She pretends to define
perfection,
innocence,
purity.

But every time
she opens her mouth,
Lies pour  out.
It frustrates me,
That I am the
only one,
The only person who knows
that she isn't Little-Miss-Perfect.


Torn

I hate feeling like this:
Lost, confused, overwhelmed.
I'm longing for that kiss,
That forbidden kiss...
I was so unprepared,
You took me by surprise:
I didn't think you could look at me
the way you did last night.

But why now?
After all this time,
After all your chances?
I spent a lifetime
waiting for you,
But you never came.

And now,
Now you come crashing back
into my life,
My mind,
My heart,
A week before my wedding day.




.



Tuesday 26 April 2016

Media Distortion

"He's white,
So by default he is racist.
He's a Christian,
So naturally he stands
for all things anti-liberal,
Unable to see change.

He's a young man,
Therefore he is prejudiced
towards all women.
He lives in England,
So he must be rich."

What they don't see,
Through their distorted looking glass,
Is who he really is.
Their eyes are clouded
by the media,
Fixated on stereotypes.

He is white,
But he works for equality
across the globe.
He's a Christian,
But that makes him want to
Change the world,
To see the best in people,
To make a difference to
their lives,
To celebrate our diversity
which makes us one.

He's a young man,
A man who does not define
a person by their gender;
Who fights for Justice,
Equality
and Freedom for women.
He may be British,
But he comes from a difficult background
with no financial support,
So he has worked hard to be
Where he is today.


Terrified

I'm terrified
that I will wake up one day,
And realise that I've waisted
my life away.

I'm terrified
that I will leave this world behind,
Without contributing
anything to mankind.

I'm terrified
that I will miss my chance
At being being young
and having a wild romance.

I'm terrified
that I'll never dream big,
So I'll never get to lead
the life I want to live.



I hate shopping

Purple, blue, yellow and pink
Dresses in more colours
than I could imagine.
Short sleeves,
Long sleeves,
Or even none,
Blouses in more styles
than you would think they could come.
Stilettos, trainers, sandals and boots
Anybody in need of
a new pair of shoes?

For many other girls,
This would be heaven:
They could brows for hours
Without stopping
Yet, the worst form of torture,
For me, is shopping...


Saturday 23 April 2016

Book Spine Poetry

Looking for Alaska,
The girl on the train.
I let you go,
While my eyes were closed...

The future of us
Gone,
Without a trace...




  

Tuesday 19 April 2016

Confessions of a Sixth Former

I have a destination
But I feel like I'm going nowhere...
I have a purpose
But I just don't know what it is...
There's a certain path I must follow
But I don't know which one to choose...

The pressure of big life decisions
Is crushing me.
I don't know how much longer
I can hold their weight.    

What should I do next?
University?
Apprenticeship?
Employment?

What happens if...
If I fail?
If I don't get the right grades?
If my application isn't successful?

And what happens if...
If I can't pay for education?
If I can't afford a place to live?  
If I end up in debt,
Indebted to a country
that I cannot even call my
home?      

The weight of it all
Is pulling me down,
I'm struggling to breathe.
Whenever I ask for help,
I'm told that
It's my life
And no one else can
live it for me!

Monday 18 April 2016

Please Understand...

"How come you're all alone?
Where is she? You can tell me
anything you know!"
Gabi's voice of concern urged me
To open up,
To pour out my heart,
To tell my tragic tale:

"I had the little box
in my pocket,
I was about to kneel,
When, suddenly, she
said that she's in need
of a little time apart...

She told me she was sorry,
That she didn't mean to hurt me,
That it was for the best..."
As the aeroplane jolted
abruptly, my heavy heart sank
further.

"Why would she say that?
After all you've done for her..."
Gabi's disappointment echoed
my own.
So I continued my blues:
"She met someone,
Someone who she never expected
to fall for.
And yet she did..."

"The nerve of that -"
"Maybe it was my fault..."
I contemplated out loud,
"If only I could have
made her stay..."

"Don't even go there!"
Gabi interrupted me.
"She is the one who walked away,
Even after you followed her
to a new country,
So far from the place you know,
A town you could call home.
And after all that, she leaves?
Leaves you standing
broken hearted?"

As the plane began to descend,
All that Gabi had said
began to sink in.
She was right!
There was nothing
I could have done,
Nothing to stop her,
Stop her from shattering my heart
into a million shards.

"But that doesn't mean
you have to run away,"
Gabby continued
as we waited in the passport queue.
"You have a new life now,
A good career.
Don't give that up
just because of one girl!

Look, I've known you
for a long time,
Since you were about two.
And the one thing I learned
was that you never back down.
Don't let this one girl
change that about you!"

And Gabi was right,
Right once again!
I can't move back
to the beginning,
I can't start over!
I have a new life now,
And she can't take
that away!

***

Back at the airport,
I didn't know how my tale
would end.
A few months had passed
until I saw Gabi again.

"Why would you do that!?"
She looked at me in surprise.
"How could you forgive her?
Don't you remember
the things she has done
to you?
How you felt when she left?
She left you with a broken heart
that could not mend."

I know how I must have seemed:
weak, foolish, insane.
But I love her...
"Gabi, I did not ever think
that I would have to
explain what forgiveness is;
Especially to you..."

These were the only
words I said,
But she understood.








Saturday 16 April 2016

Escape

I grabbed my bag
And swung it across my shoulder.
Quiet as a mouse,
So not to wake anyone from their slumber,
I started towards the large window.

The perfect limbo
Between reality and a dream,
The light of the moon
Poured in its soft beam,
Highlighting the dark corridor.

A sudden creak of the wooden floor
made my heavy heart race.
After a moment of silence,
I looked around the familiar space
For the final time.

Opening the window, I began to climb:
And I didn't stop
Until I reached the ground.
I took one last look up
At my past

And then I ran as fast
As I could towards my future...




Tuesday 5 April 2016

Choices

Why
Must I 
Make choices like
This? Certainly unwanted, but
A beauty, a
Choice, a
Life.


Sunday 3 April 2016

Four

Everything
Has to come in
Fours: never more
or less. Just four.

Neither three or
Five will suffice:
I need four to
make sense of life.

I must switch my
Lights off four times:
Off - on - off - on...
It takes quite long.

Two more times left -
I can't help it!
Four is an urge
I can't suppress...




Friday 1 April 2016

Every Day

Sometimes it is hard to even
Get out of bed.
I have to force myself
To begin again.

Every day is the same:
Grey, dark and gloomy.
The sun doesn't shine -
My sky is frosted in thick white clouds.

People pressure me to carry on
Even when I want to give up.
I have to keep walking:
One foot in front of the other,

But I am going
nowhere.
Every time I sigh I lose
a little bit of myself.

I want to let go of everything -
All my problems,
All my troubles.
And just breathe,
Fill my lungs with fresh air.

But all that surrounds me
is the musty sent of la vie quotidienne.
It's as if I am running around
And around in endless circles.

I feel trapped
with no escape.
I want, so badly, to let go
And to end my numbness.

I want to feel pain
Soaring through my body.
I want to scream
Just so I know I'm alive.

But I stay silent.


Letter to My Angel

My Dearest Daughter,
If you ever read these words,
Please don't be mad,
Don't be angry or sad
because I still love you.

I still love you even though
I cannot say a word,
I cannot hear your voice
or see your smile.
Oh, if only I could see that smile,
See it just one more time -

But my eyes are closed,
And I lay still.
In one moment life has stopped:
My time has frozen,
Perhaps, for eternity;
While the hands on your clock
keep moving forward.
But you must know that
no matter how this poem ends,
I still love you.

I do not know if I ever can
wake up from this dream.
So please just let me go.
Let me leave this life behind.

I know it must be hard for you,
And I'm sorry.
I'm sorry for all the pain
that I must have caused you.
I'm sorry for everything
that I have put you through.

But please let me go,
Don't watch me fade away
until there's nothing left.
I don't want you to remember me
like this:
weak, helpless, still.

Please let me go.
Let me sleep forever,
Even if it's hard for you to accept:
What I'm asking of you,
It's for the best.
So if you are reading these words,
Just know that I love you,
And I always will.

Sincerely,
Your Loving Mother